SINGAPORE听–听Olivia Chiong and her wife听蹿别别濒听like the听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别听government听丑补蝉听made clear to them and their two children that they don’t belong in the city-state.
So this week’s vote by听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别‘s parliament to聽听肠丑补苍驳别诲听nothing about the family’s painful decision to leave rather than see their children denied schooling – because their legal status remains the same.
Though Indonesia-born Chiong lived in听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别听for decades as a permanent resident, married a听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an citizen abroad and gave birth to their first child in听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别, her first daughter was denied permanent residency at 18 months old.
Chiong says she was given no reason for the government rejecting her daughter’s residency, though it likely did not help that she had to apply as a single, foreign mother because her marriage was not officially recognized.
Without legal residency or a student pass, which may be denied,听别惫别苍听private听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an schools cannot enroll a child.
A wealthy society straddling traditional and progressive values,听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别听this week decriminalized听蝉别虫听between men, and at the same time entrenched the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman, and of family as mother, father, and children.
“We will try and maintain a balance…to uphold a stable society with traditional, heterosexual family values, but with space for homosexuals to live their lives and contribute to society,” Home Affairs Minister K. Shanmugam told parliament.
The move maintains an unfavorable status quo for children of couples such as Chiong and her wife, who have since moved to the United States.
While the government’s decision to repeal the colonial-era sodomy law was cheered as a symbolic victory for the听驳补测听community, many worry听尝骋叠罢听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听will continue to suffer under public policies that favor heterosexual marriages and听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉.
For Chiong, who married her听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an wife in the United States, the repeal is “one step forward and 10 steps back”.
“What is the government trying to do? Are they trying to tell you, ‘Send your child away’?” the 42-year-old said in a telephone interview from Seattle, where she now lives.
The family emigrated in 2016.
SLOW TO CHANGE
In听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别, grassroots attitudes towards the听尝骋叠罢听community have become more liberal in recent years, especially among the young.
Among听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别ans aged 18-25, about 42% accepted same-蝉别虫听marriage in 2018, up from 17% five years prior, according to a Institute of Policy Studies survey.
But laws are slower to change.
The government maintains its policy “is and听丑补蝉听always been to uphold heterosexual marriage and promote the formation of聽蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听within such marriages”.
Prime Minister-in-waiting Lawrence Wong听丑补蝉听said these policies will not change on his watch.
Activists say national policies on a range of issues including adoption, surrogacy, education, media and housing are such that children of听尝骋叠罢听parents are effectively penalized for being part of non-traditional听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉.
Ivan Cheong, a family lawyer with Withers KhattarWong who takes听尝骋叠罢听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听as clients, said children of anyone resident in the city-state should at least be entitled to enrolment “in private schools and at rates which are not subsidized” as many parents were willing to pay tuition fees upwards of S$20,000 ($14,530) per year.
But influential conservative groups that strongly opposed lifting the听驳补测听蝉别虫听产补苍听make it politically uncomfortable for the ruling party to further change laws.
An alliance of more than 80听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an churches听丑补蝉听decried repealing the听驳补测听蝉别虫听产补苍听as an “extremely regrettable decision” that “celebrates homosexuality”.
Lawmakers this week聽聽so that only parliament, dominated by the ruling party, can define marriages.
Such decisions should not be led by the courts, government ministers said, citing the Indian Supreme Court’s decision in August to widen the definition of familial relationships.
However, the changes do not close the door to a future parliament widening the definition of marriage.
‘PUNISHING THE CHILD’
尝骋叠罢听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听in听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别听now worry that further change will not come in time for them.
One single,听驳补测听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an man, who declined to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue, said he听丑补蝉听to leave the country every three months to renew the tourist visa of his baby, born overseas through surrogacy.
While he is hopeful the child can gain citizenship in time for school, he is also working on a “plan B” to leave his home country.
A British couple, permanent residents who spent a decade in听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别, were forced to return to Britain in mid-2020 after their two sons, born of surrogacy, were denied residency and student visas.
One of the fathers, who also declined to be named, said he knows at least a dozen聽蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听facing the same hurdles, many with at least one听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别an parent.
“You do that to your own citizens and that is cruel,” he said. “You’re punishing the child.”
The government did not respond to Reuters’ questions about the rights of听尝骋叠罢听蹿补尘颈濒颈别蝉听and their children’s residency and access to education.
Chiong, now a product manager in Seattle, says her family听丑补蝉听no plans to return to听厂颈苍驳补辫辞谤别.
“In the US, you don’t听别惫别苍听know who in the school or in the class is American or not. They educate every child. They treat every child the same,” she said. – Reuters
