Can everybody be a winner?

SHOULD life always be a contest? If it is not (and it shouldn’t be), then there are really no winners and losers. Of course, in our culture, rankings are common, even when it comes to social status. In front page news on media, bar exams show the grades of the passers, and those in the Top 10. This top ranking is attached to the winners for the rest of their lives.

Still, some cultural forces avoid the tags of winners and losers. Ratings have now become more qualitative even for those who can’t catch up — needs improvement.

The report card, especially for primary school students, is now given the more positive spin of “progress report.” This avoids the traditional numerical grading based solely on exams and evaluation of reports. Ratings are no longer quantitative, favoring fewer qualitative classifications such as exceptional, good, and most friendly. Blurring performance levels can build self-confidence especially for those who “missed the bus.”

The message is a double negative: There are no losers. Everybody is a winner. This confidence-building approach promotes a rating system where nobody feels left behind. If a child is poor in math, she may get a stamped star anyway for joining the spelling contest and going three rounds out of five. (Get a math tutor.)

Contests that need to attract large numbers of participants give as many “awards” as possible. These are not even called “consolation” prizes. There may be an award just for showing up early.

To keep their ratings and broaden viewership, beauty contests have expanded their circle of winners. Prizes are handed out for talent, friendliness, and photogenic appeal. Sponsors give out minor prizes (Ms. Skin Whitener) where the winner serves as product endorser for one year. Finalists are designated as a “court of honor.” (Each one gets a sash too.)

What are online postings in social media, after all, but avenues for life’s consolation prize winners? While not as rich and powerful as the icons they are photographed with, these attendants to the rich and famous become part of the entourage.

However, in real life, not everybody is a winner. Being outside the circle at the top is indistinguishable from being a loser. It’s the podium position that attracts celebrity status, along with its prizes.

Nurtured as a child to always feel good after a contest, the adult may be unprepared for the competitive world that routinely classifies contestants as winners and losers. The sheltered child, now an adult, may have gifts previously recognized (most friendly). When a winner is declared, the nurtured child, now an adult, is apt to sulk and grudgingly accept a plaque of appreciation. The applause for the real winner is just too disheartening.

A student used to a soft grading system (or not being graded at all) discovers the perils of not understanding the difference between winning and losing. When job hunting, he realizes that he either gets the job or a letter saying, “We will keep your application on file should the need for a stoic philosopher come up.”

Corporate performance ratings have not followed the “feel good” bandwagon. There are even forced rankings that put the “bottom 10%” of the rates at risk — what have you done to increase market cap?

Sports contests too are binary. One either wins or loses the championship trophy. The result is straightforward. One team has a bonfire party and the other complains about the officiating. (That last shot shouldn’t have counted.)

The Olympic Games pronounce winners and losers, even if the difference in speeds is only a hundredth of a second. The second-place winner may complain about the accuracy of the clock, but such an attitude makes him the worst type of competitor — a sore loser. Even in defeat, a winning attitude of humility and good cheer is appreciated — I’ll try harder next season.

In any situation, it is our attitude that matters. Sure, it could be better, but it could also have been worse. As Epictetus, the stoic, puts it — we cannot control what happens to us, only how we react to it.

Winning or losing is not just about attitude, especially in the public arena. It is about what is at stake… when one ends up at the losing end.

Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda

[email protected]