WAITING seems to be part of our culture. Sometimes it鈥檚 because of scarcity of resources requiring lines for commuter rides; or the asymmetrical relationship between doctors and patients, the latter in this case forming seated queues with numbers. Otherwise, the imprecision of appointment times makes waiting inevitable.
We seem to treat time as an approximate number, mere suggestions that depend for adherence to the situation at hand. When it鈥檚 the boss that sets the time, precision of understanding is expected鈥 unless the time-setter himself is late or cancels at the last minute. (Something came up.) Is an 11 a.m. meeting really the equivalent of any time before lunch, but not later than the first course? Is temporal ambiguity a social norm? Can time, like one鈥檚 opinion of others, be subjective?
Occasional exhortations to instill timeliness in our culture meet with little success.
A cocktail party for a product launch or client appreciation may state the start time in the invitation as 6 p.m. But an invitee should routinely add at least half an hour before showing up. One doesn鈥檛 want to be an eager beaver ahead of the welcome line being formed with the name tags at the reception desk still complete and unattached. (Sir, you鈥檙e our first guest.)
With the law of 鈥渞eciprocal expectations,鈥 it is impractical to take the designated time on any invitation literally. The host provides a time which is expected to be adjusted by the socially aware invitee so that an overly punctual arrival does not cause embarrassment.
What product launches and management conferences do is set a 鈥渞egistration time鈥 which is an hour before the actual event. This allows the invitee some flexibility in deciding when to show up. There is the added warning that doors may close after registration is completed. This is the rule for theater events too where the curtain rises punctually.
Even announcements, both corporate and political, tend to be projected in a vague manner. Roads or overpasses and tunnels are promised to be completed at a vague time in the future, like the last quarter of the following year. This promised date, vague as it is, may not even be posted as a commitment lest it be remembered, and the developer held accountable for a missed deadline.
Corporate assignments may already announce a short list for a vacant executive position at the top. This list may even have names or qualifications 鈥 must be an outsider. But when will the final announcement be made? (When Venus aligns with Mars.)
The online protocol has made waiting a little more engaging. When one calls for a ride-share service, the app helpfully provides the current mapped location of the assigned pick-up vehicle and its ETA. This information allows the customer to determine if she still has time to make a quick loo visit. It鈥檚 still a waiting game but alleviated by a little information. (Sorry, a stalled truck will delay pick-up another 10 minutes.)
It seems that absence, even for the confirmed attendees (they expect a 30% absenteeism rate anyway, including non-responders) seems less socially offensive than being too literal with time designations. The tardy guest receives no censure at all. Even when all are having coffee and cakes, the late arrival is greeted with enthusiasm 鈥 better late than never. (Join us for apple tart.)
Waiting is not necessarily a waste of time. For corporate announcements, the start of a meeting, or the serving of canapes at a dinner party, the designated 鈥渨aiter鈥 can indulge in mental games. They need not be negative ruminations of revenge on time wasters. They can be constructive endeavors like writing haikus about waiting for leaves to turn and fall.
In our time culture, a punctual arrival seems to be the outlier.
Thankfully, this ambiguous time is losing its momentum. The younger generations with their shorter attention spans simply leave when the appointment time is breached.
In the time of the pandemic, the WFH culture was born. And the meetings became virtual and more demanding in the coordination on time. Thus are the attendees required to be punctual in joining (You may now log in) from different parts of the city, and sometimes elsewhere in the world. Time management has now become critical. The virtue of punctuality has been restored鈥 hopefully for good.
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
