Young and wild… and free?

By Johanna D. Poblete

Theater Review
Dog Sees God: Confessions
of a Teenage Blockhead
Feb. 26, 8 p.m.
Staple and Perk, Ground Floor,
Eco Plaza Bldg., Don Chino Roces Ave. Ext.
(Pasong Tamo Ext.), Makati City

THERE’s a very rough quality to Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, the inaugural production by Twin Bill Theater, and yet — or perhaps because of that — it is charming. Well, about a charming as a play about potty-mouthed, sex-obsessed, vodka-tipping, cigarette-smoking, drug-addled teenagers that vaguely resemble your dad’s favorite “Peanuts” characters, can be. Actually, hide your parents, otherwise be prepared for the hackneyed ejaculation: “Good grief!”

Dog Sees God is performed in a bakery, Staple and Perk, transformed into a bar and theater venue for the night. Wall shelves hold framed “Peanuts” illustrations and memorabilia, including a miniature red doghouse, and Snoopy stuffed toys, one of whom sports a cone of shame. It’s dark, the “stage” is set with black blocks decorated only by a jagged yellow stripe — the negative of Charlie Brown’s iconic T-shirt — and the audience is close enough to read the actors’ text messages, should they be so inclined to type.

The first thing you hear is the sound of a heartbeat, slower than a beagle’s normal heart rate (which would be 70-90 beats per minute). Once it flatlines, Snoopy is dead, put down after contracting rabies and gobbling up poor Woodstock. C.B. (aka Charlie Brown) sinks into a deep depression barely tolerated by his goth/Wiccan sister (Sally), who is busy preparing for her one-woman show and chasing after the introverted Beethoven (Shroeder), never mind rumors that he’s gay. The inquisitive C.B. looks to his friends for answers to that grand old mystery — “Do dogs go to heaven?” — and is nudged ever closer to maturity with each interaction.

Adolescence is tough for the Peanuts gang. Bereft of security blankie, Van (Linus) is still philosophical — maybe even more so given his Buddhism and penchant for smoking weed — but has lost focus. Matt (Pigpen) has become a playboy, and germaphobe to boot, with a nasty temper. Smarty-pants Marcy (Marcie) and sporty Tricia (Peppermint Patty) have become partying mean girls who indulge in gossip and cutting remarks. Beethoven is now an outcast, ridiculed for things he cannot help. And Van’s sister (Lucy), self-styled childhood psychotherapist, is stuck in juvie after setting the Little Red-Haired Girl’s hair afire (but not before she and C.B. torched Van’s blanket).

In his meanderings, the troubled C.B. stumbles upon Beethoven and takes solace in the latter’s piano-playing. Wary and annoyed at the intrusion, Beethoven calls out C.B. for his past bullying. The two clear the air and mend their friendship, but the other members of the gang disapprove of the close bond between Mr. Popular and Mr. Weird.

Inhibitions drop and all hell breaks loose at where else but a party. A confrontation ends in tragedy, and each member of the gang is forced to deal with their buried issues. There’s plenty to go around: homophobia, sexual molestation, abortion, a crisis of faith, pyromania, teen violence, promiscuity. They all have their crosses to bear, and they discover exactly what they’re capable of.

Pretty heavy stuff for a play meant for the younger crowd, but that edge is probably what will attract viewers to this “unauthorized parody.” Watch the last performance this Feb. 26 for the cast and crew, a bunch of promising talents who’ve paid their dues in license fees and late night practices to mount the play their way. Nel Gomez is especially affecting as C.B., snarky but self-aware, whereas Vince Lim plays the part of the buttoned-up Beethoven with convincing awkwardness. The ladies have a frenetic energy that’s hard to beat, with arguably the most fun role going to Faye Camille Velicaria as C.B’s changeable sister.

Much as I like playwright and screenwriter Bert V. Royal (I’m nearly 35 and still a fan of his Easy A, which pays irreverent tribute to every high school movie I’ve shamelessly enjoyed), Dog Sees God needs an update. While the issues are still relevant, the situation has changed since he wrote the play in 1994 (bullying now has extended beyond face-to-face confrontations into social media, for one). Apart from which, there’s a very Western slant to the play, and even Royal has urged Twin Bill to incorporate more of the local culture and adapt the play into Filipino — something to look forward to, as Twin Bill is already on it.

That said, the play has its merits. It opens up dialogue about why we are bothered by certain things. It also teaches compassion, empathy, and respect for a shifting identity. “The things that we think define us, don’t mean shit in the grand scheme of things. Us defines us. Not things or other people or pets,” Van says in the play. He may have said it amidst a cloud of fragrant smoke, but it still makes a lot of sense.

For ticket inquiries, call or text Kiko at 0927-460-4652 or e-mail [email protected].